Are You Stuck?

&
What I Offer In Response

Read Below.

you just might find it resonates with you.


Are You Stuck? -Here Are The Signals  

Are you finding yourself feeling stuck in a life that you dread getting up for in the morning?


Do you feel like you are stuck in your job and have no choice but to stay?


Do you feel as though you keep repeating the same old patterns with your relationship?


Do you feel like somehow you are going to be dependent upon anti-depressants and therapy your entire life?


Do you feel as though you need to settle for a life, and a sense of identity, that is frankly, kind of boring?



You Feel Stuck -What I have to Say About That 

I have felt stuck and miserable too. I have struggled with these feelings for much of my life.


In my experience through being a psychotherapist, I also worked with many many people who felt these same ways as well. This tendency to feel stuck is so incredibly common, and I would even venture to say, it is a misdirected survival instinct to end up stuck like this.


      “The tendency to feel stuck is so incredibly common, and I would even venture to say, it is a misdirected survival instinct to end up stuck like this.”

As humans it is easy to get stuck. We want safety, and we often choose safety over everything else. We even choose situations and relationships that are unsafe, as a way to be “safe”. We often get incredibly imbalanced in our lives in our efforts to stay “safe” even if we also desire to change, because we choose changes that also keep us “safe”.


The familiar is safe, even if it makes us miserable, and even if it scares us or leads us to be harmed. We may hate our job, but it pays the bills in a fashion we have become accustomed to, and it supports the lifestyle and comfort and conveniences we have adjusted to (i.e. “safety”). We may hate our partner or our relationship pattern, but we love this person too, and even though we feel stuck or harmed by them, at least this person is familiar, and the pattern is something that we can rationalize as being not that bad, because to change or leave the relationship is too scary, and we thus preserve our “safety”.


However, the cost of this misguided survival instinct to be “safe”, leads us to choose disempowerment. Disempowerment means we have given our power away, and are not embodied, awake and alive to the moment. When we are disempowered we are not centered inside of our own experience of life, and the important fact that we are the only ones who are capable of living this life! When we are disempowered we let our context as well as the decisions we have made in the past, as well as the daily patterns and relationships in life determine how we feel, how we respond, how we are living. When we are disempowered we are not setting boundaries, we are checked out fom our deepest desires, needs, and callings, and we instead default to moving through life on autopilot. We feel exhausted, we feel anxious, we feel depressed, we feel indecisive, when we are disempowered, and we equate these feelings as continuing and getting worse, if we actually make a change and do something different. The fear of things getting worse, judging by our past efforts to make things better, and still feeling the same way, have us equate change with a lack of “safety”.

      “Disempowerment means we have given our power away, and are not embodied, awake and alive to the moment. When we are disempowered we are not centered inside of our own experience of life, and the important fact that we are the only ones who are capable of living this life!”


And, it is true, making changes without actually healing the root of the problem, brings more of the same issues, and perhaps will make life even worse. I have been here before in my own life. I have made many changes thinking perhaps this might make me feel better, only to find I have created a new set of problems and binds for myself.


In fact, many capitalistically oriented cultures are fueled by the ways we commodify what might help one feel better, and we end up buying that new thing, or doing that new fitness routine, or buying that food, drugs, or drink that will make life sting less or make us feel more pleasure. Yet, after we consume this new thing or experience, we don’t ultimately feel better, and must keep buying and accruing these new experiences or things as a way to keep trying to feel better. It is a never ending cycle that keeps us further disempowered, and further alienated from true happiness and enjoyment of life. Or rather, it is cycle that keeps us dependent upon having that job and lifestyle that makes you unhappy, in order to continue to acquire and buy the things that give you some pleasure or happiness. This is “safety” creating the security and the funds in life to continue to engage in a familiar way with your cultural environment, where you can continue to buy your way to happiness.

      “In fact, many capitalistically oriented cultures are fueled by the ways we commodify what might help one feel better... that will make life sting less or make us feel more pleasure. Yet, after we consume this new thing or experience, we don’t ultimately feel better, and must keep buying and accruing these new experiences or things as a way to keep trying to feel better. It is a never ending cycle that keeps us further disempowered, and further alienated from true happiness and enjoyment of life. !”


I actually love buying things and I love money. I don’t see anything wrong with buying things or having money. However, I am addressing a cycle that perhaps keeps you feeling stuck and disempowered, and I want to help you enjoy buying what you want, while also not needing to be controlled by the need to buy, as well as the need to stay “safe”.  


I am pointing to an important difference between change and transformation. Change is a more superficial shift in context or content (which is also great and necessary), while transformation is a complete shift in the root, at ever deeper or the deepest levels. Change may create the momentum for transformation to occur, but transformation must occur for a lasting shift to take place, and for one to find greater happiness and fullfilment with life. Transformation must occur for us to step outside of the realms of stuckness, and into the realms of inspiration, pleasure, adventure, and aliveness!  

      “Transformation must occur for us to step outside of the realms of stuckness, and into the realms of inspiration, pleasure, adventure, and aliveness! ”


Once I began to address the root of my misery- disempowerment, life changed for the better, in some significant and magical ways. I feel liberated, more in touch with my autonomy and agency, who I am and what my deeper desires are. I feel more capable of setting boundaries and taking care of myself. I am healthier. I am more satisfied with my self, and more capable of giving and receiving love, enjoyment, pleasure, adventure, and inspiration. I also feel more alive.


I want you to help you feel this way too.


​​Would you let me help you find greater empowerment, and thus the capacity to override the distorted survival instinct toward “safety”, and instead help yourself find true and lasting safety and well-being?




Ava connects to her creative spirit and love for styling and design as a part of expressing her empowerment, wildness, and vitality.

Ava Pommerenk, PhD.      Copyright, 2018.       All Rights Reserved.     Privacy Policy.